March 9, 2009

In order to establish an accomodating way in order to live my life, I’ve spent a lot of time making mistakes, and creating success. It is only now, that I can confidently say that I truly believe that the majority of things that happen in a lifetime are no longer problems to be solved, but processes to be enjoyed. This enjoyment does not necessarily need to be polished and colorful in the classic sense of joy, but to be fully accepted, appreciated, and interpreted in a way that can reinforce growth and power.

I used to be convinced that I was merely part of a structure that was immovable; that I had to make my way down a certain route, whether I liked it or not. All of this work would be done in order to get to a desired destination, to achieve a desired result. However, if history, or if my personal experiences have shown any truth at all, it’s that the flow of time and the happening of events are more or less spontaneous and indifferent to our personal wants. To accept that we are constantly in the moment, that we are constantly departing while arriving, means that the beauty¬† and fulfilment lies in the absorption of the moment. As i am fully aware of the cliche and blurry vagueness this phrase embodies, I don’t think it is discredited at all. Instead of a single goal or destination, each day can be filled with an infinite number of small victories, while still being fully present in the situation that surrounds me every second.

People are going to make choices that benefit them the most, even when they are your best friends or significant others. Tragedies will happen when we least expect them, and sometimes we go through an entire educational career path to find that we are completely lost, and misguided. The solution, for me, is not to make sure I make the perfect, sunniest directions to arrive, but instead, to acquire small victories in every second and find beauty in both the mundane and the significant. Making strange choices, rolling with the flow of time that is the most organic mental sophistication that still remains a mystery to the drones that roll along without asking the questions that life begs. More importantly, it is not about asking the questions, but finding answers in everything.


March 9, 2009

RIP Felicidad Leviste

The Getty

February 23, 2009

Work & School:

  • Part-time internship at Red Table Studio in LA as a designer for my old teacher.
  • Design pitch for House Of Blues in Anaheim, minimal direction, 5 designs total for their store. Awaiting revisions.
  • 3 Designs for AFI.

  • 3 Designs for Green Day.

  • Speaking of Green Day, they have used a design I did for them to represent their online identity. It is currently on their MySpace, and their official website. I remember thinking of the idea of birds into planes a long time ago, when looking for something I can stencil that was 1 color. I have mixed feelings about what they did to the original graphic, and it’s general use.
  • Featured on Karmaloop, check it out! (On Sale):

  • First quarter back grades: A, A, A, A, B+


  • The quest for good cuisine, international and all, begins. Talks of a Food Blog, Flog, ensue. So far this month and a little last: Ethiopian in Little Ethiopia, Versailles (Cuban), Pupusa Cafe (El Salvadorian), A lot of Indian, Sanamluang Thai, I’ve recently eaten duck fetus and cow tongue.
  • Been seeing some good movies: Slumdog, Vicky Cristina Barcelona, and a lot of Stella.


  • Plan my free trip to the East Coast before March 13th, when it expires.
  • Get in shape, I can always start running for a few weeks, but always stop, I need to find a way to stay committed.
  • Get a fresh sense of where I want my life to go in the next two years.
  • Stay practical, and stay sharp.
  • Move, but only when the time is right and smart.


January 7, 2009

I’m late on a New Year’s post. In fact, there has a been a huge absence of writing here, resulting from a generous mix of confusion, hesitation, business, and laziness. 2008. What a whirlwhind. I’m going to try to summarize it, using a list. Because lists are simple. Lists are black and white. Lists are easy. And if I know anything, I know nothing in the last year has been easy. So from beginning to end:

  • January to June : Living my last months in San Francisco. My first, semi-professional run at an actual career winds down. During the year or so I worked at Cinder Block Inc. I was able to get a nice body of work that would fully push my freelance status into effect. I am proud of a lot of the work I did there, and a lot of the skills I was able to work on and learn. This includes: Color seperation, basic screen printing practice and theory, designing with production in mind, client communication, professionalism, Illustration styles, digital illustration, mixed media, and the under-estimated art of RESEARCHING. I was making more money than I had ever had before, but I was not really savvy enough to save or invest any of it.
  • Outside of work, I was struggling to enjoy the last run of time with my friends in San Francisco, while knowing that it would soon come to an end. It took me awhile to tell everyone. I learned what it felt like to have a family away from my real family, a home away from home. Today, I still think about those trips to Reno, getting high and playing NBA hang time, or the endless rides on the 38 Limited Bus. I remember when the weather showed the sun, all the skirts and sunglasses came out, it was absolute heaven.
  • I rekindled a romance with an ex-girlfriend. To see if we really were meant to be with each other, to see if we could actually stand each other. It was all so hopeful, and there was so much pressure riding on it to work. It didn’t work, for a lot of different reasons, and realizing this would prove tough, frustrating, and sad.
  • July to August : I traveled. Manila, Mandaluyang, Boracay, Philippines. Bangkok, Thailand. Cafes with buckets of beer and acoustic sessions. Going clubbing with a stranger-turned friend that couldn’t speak English. Riding an elephant, going sailing, eating the best food of my life, immense culture shock. Intense family bonding, I feel like we made up for lost time.
  • I’m not going to sugarcoat it. The tail-end of 2008 moved fast, and blurry, and there was no mercy. It was about living in the moment, sober or intoxicated. It was about crossing the lines to know where they are. It was about first dates, and getting to know somebody new, and so, so different from what I’m used to. It was too many cigarettes, too much whiskey, being too high and sluggish, being too hungry and eating too much. It was my triumphant return to school, and I killed it, and took names. It was about refusing to get a job and working from home drawing pictures for companies and designing business cards and brochures and shirts. Winter of 2008 was about Living LARGE and fast.
  • I’m having shirts mailed to me. It’s Christmas time. I’m having checks mailed to me. I’m climbing the mountains of Corganville, never missing a Lakers game. I’m going to the hidden caverns in the park, and throwing paper airplanes off the hills. I’m owning at puzzle fighter, and living by the diamond.
  • I learned a lot about myself in 2008. I learned about who I want to be, and who I don’t want to be. Who I want to be with, and who I want to stay away from.
  • I’m going to write up a sketch, so I don’t forget: 540, Geary, 38, CB. The LODGE, the R.A.P.E., Airplanes, Islands, Animals. Lawr, Sister leaves, I miss her. Heart breaks, heart makes. Puzzle fights, Volcanoes, Rips, and Camels. Whiskey, Games, Friends, Close, Close, Close! Crew, Crush, Photobooths, Living in the Moment. Meeting Abraham Lincoln, Gummie Bear Bubbas, Phil’s too smart, B’s too nice, Everyone’s too scared. Porch talks, Coffee Bean, Tea Lattes. Art Shows, camera, back SLIDE.

I’m thankful. 2009, will be 2000-Fine. This will be about REaffirmation, REcommitting, and getting back on. I always thought I’d be different. I have to be. I have no choice. None of this bullshit about blaming the city, the people, the money, the equipment. There are absolutely, positively, no limits.

PS Go Lakers.


November 15, 2008